- Reflections
How to take care of your Adoptee needs
Self Care—A buzzword many of us hear a lot, but what does it mean, and how can we take better care of ourselves as adoptees?
It took me years to cultivate and prioritize my adoptee self-care. Now I do my best to ensure I can. Why? Because I realized when I don’t, negative emotions walk unexpectedly through the backdoor and my story’s uncertainty is causing me anxiety and health problems.
Now, I feel much more calm and resilient in my adoptee journey. There are still challenges and heavy feelings, but ensuring I get enough quality time for myself helps me to also confront the shadow part.
Even a five-minute meditation a day makes a difference. Countless research findings demonstrate that attending to your personal needs increases empathy, immunologic functioning, and has been associated with lower levels of anxiety and depression (Schure, Christopher, & Christopher, 2008).
For me, self-care is carving out ME time and creating quality space for myself. To tune into my mind, soul, and body — mindfully and intentionally.
How do you take care of your adoptee self?
Are you aware of your needs?
Do you cultivate self-compassion and emotional wellbeing?
The mentioned adoptee self-care tips have helped me tremendously on my journey, and I hope they will inspire you!
➥ Pause and create space to listen to your adoptee self’s needs
Are you busy or distracting yourself with work, projects, and other things?
Do you feel triggered by adoptee topics, or do you consciously avoid them? That’s a sign that your adoptee self needs some attention and care. This is where it starts: that you allow yourself to acknowledge this.
➥ Embrace the complexity of all of your emotions and feelings.
It’s crucial to process and experience what you’re feeling — both good and bad. Suppressing emotions won’t make them go away; they will find a way through the backdoor of your subconscious.
➥ Feel into your senses, your soul, mind, and body
Mind, body, soul — everything is interconnected and shapes your wellbeing. We often get lost and stressed with our thoughts and wandering mind—planning the future, or analyzing the past. Connecting back to your body and your senses will shift you in the presence, in the being, and feeling the moment, what is.
➥ Be compassionate and patient with yourself.
Allow yourself time and try to embrace the process without judging yourself for not being good or fast enough. There is a lot on your adoptee plate to deal with, be patient and kind to yourself on your journey. You already made it so far.
➥ Seek professional guidance for profound healing.
A therapist or trauma-informed practitioner can help you with clear guidance to work through and heal some more difficult wounds in your past.
➥ Set healthy boundaries and understand your triggers
You say no if you need to, without feeling guilty. It means that you’re aware of your needs and who you are. You don’t need to please everyone! Setting healthy boundaries means noticing patterns in your behavior and emotions with specific people and situations and having the awareness that it’s time to step back.
➥ Connect to other adoptees.
You are not alone. Your thoughts and feelings are validated in the community of other adoptees, which can be incredibly healing in itself. Connecting to someone who can relate fully and emphasize with you builds trust, empowerment, and collective healing.
We will dive deeper in the upcoming workshop!
Do you want feel more calm? balanced? resilient? Learn how you can cultivate more self-care and emotional wellbeing in your adoption journey!
Any questions?
Just reach out to me!
Excited to connect with you!
Warmly, Sun Mee.