Why SELF CARE is crucial but not enough to heal

Why SELF CARE is crucial but not enough to heal?

I’ve experienced this myself and hear it repeated in my support sessions. Today, I want to share my personal self-care journey, debunk some common myths, offer tips, and discuss why self-care alone isn’t enough to heal but is a crucial starting point.

Why Self Care is challenging for adoptees

For many adoptees, feelings of abandonment, identity struggles, and the pressure to fit into different cultural contexts can make it hard to prioritize oneself. Additionally, societal expectations and the need to constantly prove oneself can lead to neglecting personal wellbeing.

4 myths of Self Care

1. Self-care is selfish:

Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. By caring for yourself, you’re better equipped to support others and handle life’s challenges.

2. Self-care requires a lot of time:

Even short activities, like a five-minute meditation or a quick walk, can significantly impact your well-being.

3. Self-care is expensive:

Many effective self-care activities are free or low-cost, such as journaling, reading, or enjoying nature.

4. Self-care is the same for everyone:

Self-care is personal. What works for someone else might not work for you, and that’s okay. Find what genuinely makes you feel good.

My personal Self Care journey

Starting my self-care journey wasn’t easy. I used to prefer to sleep until the very last minute and rush out of the house, feeling all over the place.

Like many of you, I struggled with finding the time and energy to prioritize myself amid life’s demands. What helped me make the leap into a regular daily routine were small, consistent steps.

I started with only 5min of meditation, but did it every morning, no matter what. Gradually I shifted to a 4×10 minute holistic morning routine that includes movement, mindfulness, nourishment, and self-reflection. Now I do 4x20min each or more, but I adjust it to my daily schedule and mood.

Meditation – To ground and center my mind.
Yoga – To improve physical and mental balance.
Journaling – to process thoughts and feelings.
Mindful breakfast preparing and eating
To nourish my body and senses with fresh fruits and oats and start the day with gratitude.

This routine wasn’t perfect from the start, and I had to adjust it to fit my needs better. However, these small, manageable steps made a significant difference in my well-being. They provided a stable foundation for my day and helped me build resilience and self-compassion.

My tips to start a regular routine

1. Know that you deserve it

You are enough. You don’t need an excuse to care for yourself and your wellbeing. It’s an essential basic need.

Most importantly, you can support yourself and others more when your batteries are charged!

2. Don’t compare yourself to others:

Your journey is unique. Focus on creating a practice and routine that fits your needs and speaks to YOU, and not what others are doing.

3. Take small and realistic steps:

Start with manageable steps. Gradually incorporate new habits into your routine that can expand over time.

4. Know Your Why:

Understanding why you adopt certain habits or routines can provide motivation and clarity.

Reflect on the benefits these habits bring to your life and how they align with your personal values and goals.

5. Commit in Community

Ask a friend or fellow adoptee to serve as your partner. This will empower you to stay committed and encourage you along the way.